Thursday, January 3, 2013

Heartbreak City: Loving Town

We had been getting spoiled.
Living so close to a family (and their kids) who loved us and kept us safe from uncertainty. Giving Quinny predictability and play.


Without a doubt, the most challenging aspect of being a mama to our Lou is watching her TRY (so hard) to navigate the mines of the social world.
Constantly asking questions to her peers.
Constantly miss judging social cues and phrases.
Being outcasted and pushed aside.
Anxiety and insecurity turning into mini melt downs and fixations.

What I saw yesterday was not a group of kids who were not mean kids- what I saw was a group of good kids getting frustrated with Aspergers & SPD and the quirks that come with such.

It took about an hour of being Quinn's interpreter/ play therapist for me to need to go downstairs and cry. (Yes, I cried in a new friend's house).

I was reminded of how much work we have in front of us.
How hard it is going to be for Lou.
How hard it is going to be for Lou's siblings.
How hard it is going to be for Lou's Mommy and Daddy.

Teaching a 4 year old every aspect of "play".
Teaching a 4 year old what sarcasm is and how to detect it.
Teaching a 4 year old what body language is.
Teaching her these skills all a while keeping her self worth alive and well.
Ya. Hard.
But- We can do this!

Hind sight, maybe going to a new house with new rules and expectations (with a ton of kids) was not the best idea.
Having new friends over to our home, where Quinny's environment is predictable will give her the opportunity to actually learn the play skills she so desperately WANTS to learn. Enabling more friendships to be made and more confidence instilled in our Lou.
As much as Quinny has to learn, I have as much (or more) to sink into this thick skull of mine.
Everyday I am reminded what an incredible gift Jake and I were given. This kid has and continues to teach us a ridiculous amount of life lessons.
We're so excited to help her find her path and her niche in this crazy world- knowing she's got a whole lot of lessons to teach others too.

Here is the other cool part:
Yesterday when I came downstairs to cry, I was met with women who not only cared about my emotions, but they cared about Quinny!
They gave us a safe platform to learn and grow and feel supported.
It might have been heartbreak city yesterday, but we were in Loving Town with fabulous families.

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